Invader Dib
by LoneHowler
Summary: What would happen if the only way to stop Zim's evil once and for all Dib had to become Irken?
1. the becoming

(The Invader Zim characters belong to Jhonen Vasquez ,. this is my first Zim fanfic as I've only just discovered the Awesomeness that is Zim! There is no Mary Sues or ZADR sorry to disappoint fans of the latter) note the misspelling of school as skool and Zim's backpack like devise as pak are a traits of the series which I decided to include in the fanfic.

Invader Dib 

Dib came to skool early hoping to catch Zim off guard with his new alien inactivating ray that he ordered from aliens among us weekly, however he did not see him in the halls or at his locker, Dib resigned himself to catching him after class was over. The bell rang so he headed to homeroom, Zim wasn't there either. When Ms. Bitters gave roll call she left Zim's name out, Dib raised his hand "Ms. Bitters where's Zim?" she turned her fearsome gaze at Dib "His parents called apparently his skin condition has flared up and he won't be in this week". "Darn I know he's up to something, and there is no way I could cut class, the two things Dad pays attention about me is my grades and my attendance, I'll just have to wait until after skool to find out what Zim's up to".

After class let out Dib hurried to his locker when he swung it open a letter slipped out, curious Dib opened it

DIB MONKEY

As you may have noticed I was absent today however it is not due to plot hatchings going on. My razor furred death ferrets got loose and I need a few days to recover from the wounds. I know that you would try to use this opportunity to gain access to my lair. I warn you I have my defenses set to full destruct only a Irken can get past without being blown to smithereens. In the meantime I shall use my recovery time dreaming up new plots to destroy the Earth! ZIM 

Dib read the letter over again mainly because it was splotched with Irken blood which made parts difficult to read "I can't believe people still wont believe that he's a alien his bloods green for Christ's sake! Still this is a grand opportunity to sneak in while Zim is incapacitated and his defenses have always had plenty of holes in it I'm sure I'll find a way in"

On the way home Dib stopped to observe Zim's house everything looked normal he was just about to approach the gate when a bird fluttered down on the lawn it was instantly vaporized by the gnomes. Dib decided observation was the best course of action at that point. He watched for hours anything that moved onto the lawn area got vaporized even a piece of litter that floated by one of the gnomes was destroyed before it hit the ground. Dib decided to test a theory he pulled the letter out of his bag and removed it from its envelope putting the letter itself in a evidence bag, he kept the envelope out, it too was covered in Irken blood, Dib let the wind catch it and it sailed past the gnomes and got stuck on one of Zim's oddly shaped windows.

Seeing this Dib ran straight home to his lab, he put a piece of the letter into a DNA analyzer and waited for the results, it was Irken all right but how was he going to use it he daren't use the DNA modifier it was to risky, the cure for the baloney took forever to concoct with Zim's Gir modifying Dib's lab to make the cure serum. Dib still had the equipment but he didn't want to wait weeks for a new cure for Irken DNA. Dib searched around he knew he had it somewhere; ah there it is the werewolf blood from monsters quarterly. Under normal testing it just looked like normal human blood but using the Irken DNA scanner it showed something completely different extra strands of DNA separate from the human strand which would merge under certain environmental conditions. Dib had already concocted a cure using the Irken machinery he only had to modify the werewolf DNA from wolf to Irken, which was Childs play with the new lab. Finished he injected himself now to wait until the full moon tomorrow then he would infiltrate Zim's base and finally stop him once and for all! After he would go home and administer the cure, simple now for the little details. Dib had his face scanned and had a mask made, the last thing he wanted was to end up on a autopsy table himself while he was Irken, as much as he wanted the aliens exposed he didn't want to be the one being examined for science. Finished he headed for bed eager to get an early start the next morning which would be Zim's last.

The alarm went off Dib almost hit the snooze until he remembered his plans, groggily he sat up and wandered to the washroom splashing water on his face woke him up quicker than he imagined it burned! Toweling off quickly he checked the mirror he still looked like himself, experimentally he dripped some water on his finger it burned, but not as quickly as he observed Zim's usual reaction was. Dib was worried, the were-Irken formula shouldn't be working this quickly he shouldn't be seeing any effects until closer to moonrise. Getting dressed he headed down to breakfast, a floating comuniviewer zipped from the kitchen with his dad's head displayed "Son you are looking a little green today perhaps you should stay home and I'll check on you often" Panicking Dib stammered "No dad I just have a bit of a unsettled stomach, bad ham meatloaf yesterday at skool, I'm sure I'll get over it" Dib scrambled out the door without breakfast, he couldn't let Dad or Gaz keep him at home, then he wouldn't be able to sneak out and get Zim and worse yet they might see him transform into a alien. Dib paused at Zim's house and stuck an arm in the gate the gnomes turned and their eyes started glowing, hastily Dib pulled back his arm. "Not yet but soon Zim I will come for you while you lay there helpless" nothing stirred behind the windows so Dib went to skool.

When he arrived he was early so he stopped in the washroom to look in the mirror, he was a bit green looking but he still had his ears and his eyes looked normal, sighing in relief he ran he hand through his hair and stopped in shock a antenna! To his dismay the antennae raised out of his hair! Fear gripped him how has he going to hide this? The antenna flattened against his skull and was again hidden by his hair. Concentrating he found he could raise and lower them at will, he would just have to be careful and they wouldn't be noticed. The bell rang so he hurried to class although the subject was boring he found class to be interesting, his antennae picked up a lot more than he ever imagined he could hear the slightest noise and he could sense thing like smells, temperature, humidity and many things he couldn't put a name to! having water act like acid was a small price to pay for this, it was awesome! However Dib was aware that he shouldn't get too used to it, after all once Zim was destroyed, dib would have to go back to being an ordinary human.

At lunch Dib wasn't hungry the glorp wasn't worse than the usual cafeteria food but with the antennae's new senses it seemed unpalatable, he poked at it and decided to take a bite it burned all the way down to the stomach, Dib suppressed a gag reaction and pushed away the food. Before class he stopped at the washroom again, he was even greener than before and his eyes looked a bit bloodshot, no not bloodshot his eyes were changing! He ran to class hopping to catch Ms. Bitters before class started he was in luck, when she tuned around at the sound of her name she slithered around Dib examining him. "You look awful, you should go home now! Should I call your father?" "Not necessary Ms. Bitters he commented, I looked ill before skool he won't be surprised I came home early" "very well off with you!" Dim rushed away but not to home, on his way to Zim's house he passed a storefront window and caught his reflection quickly he pulled on the Dib mask before anyone could see, the transformation was now progressing rapidly, he clenched his fist in pain as his fingers were fusing together creating a three fingered hand nearing Zim's house he stopped to catch his breath this shouldn't be that hard, he had run from skool to Zim's many times! Nearing the gate he was having a very hard time breathing he stumbled up the walk and finally reached the door without being zapped but he collapsed, the door opened and Zim stood there looking completely unharmed "right on time my fellow Irken " Dib passed out.

When he came to he was on a examining table, jumping off in fear he realized that he was deep below Zim's house in his lair "I see you took the invite, I'm glad you made it" Dib whirled around to face Zim and realized that he didn't feel any hair covering the antennae patting his face he realized that the transformation was complete and that he had fallen into a trap. He spotted his Dib mask grabbed it and ran for a elevator but stopped just short upon hearing Zim's laugh "I wouldn't if I were you, as you know Gir has a tendency to leave windows open and without a Irken pak you can no longer survive earth's atmosphere" "why Zim? Why this elaborate plot to turn me into an alien?"

"I've been studying human sayings, one that caught my attention was "if you can't beet them join them" so I though what if I could get my enemy to join me? And you are sorely lacking in the knowledge of what it means to be Irken, namely the pak which helps us breathe in any atmosphere. So you are trapped Dim without any hope of escape and no cure. I destroyed your Lab Dib while you were at skool and the computer is keyed only to myself and don't think Gir will help you he's at the space orbiting lab watching TV he'll be occupied until I call for him. Plus the teleporters are still down. You've lost Dib and you're the one to blame"

Dibs heart sank Zim was right he should have seen it the letter conveniently smeared with Irken blood taunting him; it was practically a written invite to turn himself into an Irken.

"It's late Dib I'm going to sleep it's going to be a busy day tomorrow destroying the world I'll leave on some Irken videos to keep you company and perhaps you will decide to help out your new race by concurring this filthy dust ball."

"I'll never help you Zim never!"

"we'll see" Zim smiled smugly as he rose up the elevator he clicked a remote and a TV started playing"

"Welcome to life brave young Irken…" Dib tried to block out the sound of the propaganda, stating that it was every Irken's duty to help invade and take over worlds whether it was serving snacks or being a proud invader. Dib ignored the wonders of the lab just trying to find somewhere that didn't have a monitor playing the video failing that he found somewhere comfortable and tied to get some sleep, but the padded bench was right near a reflective surface and he could see every time he turned his head, a Irken face staring back at him, eventually he closed his eyes and cried himself to sleep.

"Morning I have some slorklusm for breakfast" "I'm not hungry Zim" Dib turned away ignoring the rumbling in what he believed to be the stomachs equivalent whatever it may be, it wasn't in the same spot but he felt hungry all the same. "today I will go to skool and continue my information gathering the tallest will want to know all about the planet they will soon be receiving" Dib perked up "You won't get away with this Zim people will notice if I go missing" "I think not Dib not with the improved Dib Bot to take your place" Zim's maniacal laughter echoed down the tube eventually leaving only the sound of the Irken video, Dib went over and examined the food Zim left behind and took a experimental bite it tasted good, Dib bit his tong a few times but he got it all down. Finished he explored the lab, a week ago he would have been ecstatic to be in here learning everything he could about Zim and the Irken technology. Today it had little interest to him it was nothing more than an elaborate prison, with noting else to do he sat down and watched the propaganda. When it was starting to repeat for the fourth time Zim returned home. "Ah I see you are enjoying the show. Time to switch it to a more advanced level" Zim clicked the remote and a new video came on Dib couldn't help himself he was riveted this tape had more on the Irken lifestyle and how Irken technology worked. This is what he had hoped to find when he planned previous raids to the lab and Zim was letting him watch it!

After watching the video two times through Dib got up and wandered the lair looking for Zim he found him bent over a piece of the Megadoomer trying to fix it "can I help?" a evil grin spread over Zim's face "Yes, yes you can help"

Later Zim came upstairs and called the Tallest "What is it this time Zim?" Red asked annoyed "I have wonderful news my Tallest, Many of my plans as you know have been foiled by the earth creature known as Dib. But No Longer! As you see here on screen he has been turned into an Irken and he is now helping me prepare the Megadoomer for world conquest, the training videos are working wonders, soon nothing will stand in the way of the conquest of Earth" on screen the Tallest had frozen in shock, and Purple had inadvertently swallowed his straw "uh well done Zim, I assume you'll want a pak for the new Irken?" "Yes and soon running the life support full time in the lab is draining power away form other projects" "We'll send a pak right away and keep up the good work" as the screen went blank the two tallest looked at each other "Zim doing well???" Red asked "scary" Purple agreed.

Zim happy at the exchange from the tallest went back down to the lab only to find Dib missing "computer! Where is Dib?" "Dib has left." "Left? What do you mean? Left?" "He has exited the premises" "Impossible! Show me!" on screen the computer showed Irken Dib working diligently away on the Megadoomer then he doubled over, when he got back up he was human again "What am I doing I must get out of here!" then Dib escaped through a side hatch so Zim wouldn't notice while he was talking with the Tallest. "Gir!" Zim bellowed, another screen came on "SIR!" "Get down here NOW! We need to recapture Dib before he ruins everything!" Zim mussed to himself "How did he turn back human? It should have been impossible."

Dib ran home and went straight for his lab, unfortunately as Zim said, it was a complete ruin, so he started digging franticly "It's got to be here! I can't believe I was helping Zim! It must have been those tapes he made me watch but I can't remember what was on them. Stupid! So stupid of me to turn myself Irken! I've got to find the cure it's got to be here somewhere!" digging he finally came up with the rack of test tubes "Yes!" only to have them vaporized in his hands "NO!" "How did you do it Dib? You didn't use the DNA modifier otherwise you wouldn't be standing here all Human again" "Werewolf DNA modified with Irken DNA, easier to cure, only now I can't without the werewolf DNA samples I'm stuck being a were-Irken and I have no idea when the next change is to occur I may die out here, I only came back seeking the cure. Now that it is destroyed I am without hope, I'll go with you Zim without struggle"

Dib let Zim take him back to the lair to be examined; as he was being led away he carefully stuffed a torn piece of magazine in his pocket. At the lab Zim hooked him up to several machines "It's true! your DNA structure is unstable; however it does have a pattern you have two days before becoming Irken again but with each change you loose more of your human DNA and become more Irken, and the time you spend as a human between each change will become shorter and the time you spend as a Irken longer oh and Dib, the time frame to administer the cure will be over when next you turn Irken again" "NO! It can't be true! You're making it up!" "Am I? you have already lost part of your Human DNA" Dib was unhooking himself from the test apparatus and said "Oh yah? Prove it?" Zim simply tossed a glass of water at Dib and laughed as Dib screamed as rolled around on the floor trying to rub off the water as his flesh smoked. "Revenge is sweet Dib; I shall give you your two days to find a cure. It will be amusing to watch you fail. The Dib bot will continue to take your place at school so you will have the full two days to find it if you can"

"Can I use your equipment?" "No. Computer remove the Dib" a claw snaked down and grabbed Dib by the back of his jacket "I'll find a cure Zim and when I do I'll make you pay" then Dib was rocketed out the front door he landed in a heap halfway down the sidewalk, the gnomes targeted him immediately. Dib scrambled to clear the gate before he was roasted alive. "Gir go with him, do you have your navigation chip and your rocket fuel is full" "Yes Sir!" "Go then, bring him back if he fails, I don't want him to die just yet"

Despite Dib's boasting he had very little ideas for the cure, he could get the werewolf DNA quickly from the magazine but without the Irken technology to analyze it with, it might as well be dog poo for the use it would be to him. He ran home when he opened the door to his house he felt something bump his leg, he looked down it was Gir in his dog suit "I followed you home" "fine come in" Dib hurried upstairs and got out the communication equipment out and set it up like Zim's so he could talk two way with video

"Calling the Tallest please come in Tallest" the screen lit up "You're not Zim!" Purple blurted "Weren't you an Irken a few minutes ago?" "Yes let me explain, My Tallest" Dib realized what he just said and it filled him with fear he had never addressed Zim's leaders as such before; it must have been the videos! He had no idea how much the brainwashing had affected him, He continued with the conversation as though nothing was wrong with what he said, after all it could be a advantage "the formula used is unstable. Zim wants me to fix it on my own, however I don't have a DNA analyzer or modifier without them I'm doomed to live half my life as a filthy human." "I'm helping I made chocolate banana mayonnaise muffins" chimed in Gir "What happened to your lab?" Purple asked "Zim destroyed it a while ago and I won't have time to rebuild it" the Tallest turned away and started a whispered conference which Dib couldn't hear, it wouldn't have been so bad if there wasn't occasional giggling, finally they turned back to face the screen "We believe you are not telling us the full truth. We are not as easy to fool as Zim" Dibs heart sank "However we will give you a full Irken lab on one condition" "Anything I'll do anything you ask" Dib cried desperately to have a full lab was beyond what he had hoped for with that he could easily have the cure before time ran out "No matter which way this turns out, we want you to spy for us and report regularly on both Earth and Zim. Contrary to what you may believe we want Zim to continue failing, if he remains on earth he will be out of our way so we can continue concurring the rest of the universe, plus his reports on his failures is the best entertainment we had in years" "Spy on Zim gladly, But Earth Never"

"No deal then, you won't see one piece of lab equipment" "Fine but I want conditions of my own, 1: No other Irken invaders will come to destroy the planet, 2: If Zim manages to take over the planet the native life forms will not be destroyed including humans or made into slaves 3: Earth won't be turned into a parking garage or whatever else you do with concurred planets 4: I still get to foil Zim's plans at every opportunity if I can" "You are in no position to bargain, but deal, you can expect your package shortly" a heavy thump sounded outside "That would be it now, we will expect a full report in a few days oh and even as a Irken you have a abnormally large head" "My Heads Not Big!" Dib yelled but the screen had already gone blank.

Dib hurried downstairs to find a small box sitting on his stoop amongst a pile of rubble, he brought it into the old lab and opened it inside was a small devise "what do I do with this Gir?" "Make a picture then put it into the ground" dib dug an old picture of his lab out of the rubble and placed onto the plate, a brief flash occurred then the device changed Dib placed it into the center of the room "Now run!" said Gir, Dib fled the room as it started digging down into the concrete when the rumbling subsided he ventured back in. The rubble was gone and in its place was his lab; it looked almost the same as the photo. Where do I start? "Here" chimed Gir he pulled a lever and the walls moved and some of the equipment folded in to reveal the Irken technology and a elevator to the lower levels, eagerly Dib set to work.

"Darn it! the Irken DNA has changed the werewolf formula completely I'll have to formulate a new cure but it will take almost all the time I have, but there is good news the Irken DNA isn't destroying my human DNA just suppressing it, however it will be near impossible to reverse the process after the second change, I'll be a were-Irken forever but I can whip up a formula to give me control over the change but I wont have it ready for a week! if I fail at making the cure, I'll be under Zim's control and who knows what more brainwashing techniques he has" Dib slapped his forehead "Duh I have a Irken lab it can produce a breathable atmosphere if I need it" "But not the formula at the same time" the computer stated ."Too much power make everything go weee boom!" Gir said in his high pitched voice then Gir started running around making exploding noises "so it's for emergency use only?" "Yep" piped Gir as he continued to run around until he tripped over a foot stool he rolled around the floor giggling. Turning back to the computer he finished the final calculations, there done! Now all he had to do was sit and wait.

Dib started pondering Zim always had at least 3 projects on the go at any given time he must have been planning tricking Dib into turning himself Irken for quite some time, knowing Zim he wouldn't sacrifice several projects just to keep Dib alive for a few days, this showed more planning and thought than Zim was usually capable of, or the fact that Zim was running out of hare brained ideas both were unlikely. Sighing, no use pondering it, as it was unlikely he would ever know the truth. Dib gazed at the new Irken lab that he had after this was over imagine what he could do with this, he could easily prove the existence of big foot heck he could even recreate a mammoth if he wished, He could prove that he was right about everything and even if he wasn't right he could create the monsters and set them loose on a populated area, then they all would believe! Dib shook his head what was he thinking! That wouldn't be right! He coughed and wheezed few times, Oh no! It's started again he checked the time no that wasn't right it was too soon! The cure wouldn't be ready for hours yet! He ran another test something was triggering the change, Nano Bots! Zim did this! "hello Dib" a screen popped to life "I don't know how you convinced the Tallest to help you out but as you have probably realized by now I wasn't about to give you enough time to finish the cure, in less than a hour you will be Irken again but by the sound of your breathing I suspect you don't have enough time to wait for that" "You Monster" Dib rasped and started coughing again "Gir! Bring Dib here Now!" "Yes Sir" before Dib could react Gir had scooted under him and they were both rocketing to Zim's place.

They crashed through a window and landed a in a heap on the couch "Whee that was fun let's do it again!" "Not now Gir, Dib has to make an important decision, Dib even without my prompting of an early change you may die without my help you can no longer hope to get here on time before you suffocate and I won't be putting my projects on hold just to keep you living. The Tallest have been kind enough to send a pak for you accept it and become a true Irken or risk dying" "I'd rather die" Wheezed Dib "fine stay on my couch and breath your last. I'll disinfect it later, If you change your mind I'll be in the lab" Zim went down using the lift under the end table, leaving Gir behind "I'll make waffles" and with that Gir went into the kitchen area leaving Dib alone on the couch, he tried sitting up and only ended up doubled over in pain, last time he had blacked out at this stage, he could feel his organs shifting around changing finally the change was complete but he was too weak to sit up each breath was harder to take in. He had never believed he would die this way alone and a alien, who would take up protecting the earth from Zim? the most likely was Gaz if she could be pried away from her video games. No Dib realized he was Earths only hope and he was about to die as one of the enemy or he had the choice of becoming the enemy. As he thought it through he realized that he had no choice "Gir" he cried weakly "Gir please come help me" "Sir!" Gir appeared covered in flower "Please help me get to the lab" "Yes Sir" Gir picked him up and gently carried him to the lift down in the lab.

There was no relief from his labored breathing in the lab as Zim had promised he had shut down the environmental controls "Good Gir, Set him over there" "I won't gloat for long as you don't have long left, Dib you held out till the last second but I have won! Now will you accept the pak and become a true Irken" "Yes" said Dib in a defeated tone "Will you accept me as your unconditional leader?" Dib tried to answer but he had no breath left he choked and grabbed Zim's arm desperately "Good enough" Zim threw a switch and a machine came down and fused a pair of sockets to Dib's spine then the pak was attached it instantly wormed connections through his body burrowing into his lungs and worse his brain! then came the electric shock to bring the pak into action Dib gasped he could feel it uploading info into his brain and downloading his memories into the pak "I will give your pitiful human mind time to adjust to the new info and when you are ready come join me and I will tell you what your role will be in the Earth invasion"

Right now all Dib cared about was that he was breathing again. And he was also trying to absorb what the info being uploaded from the pak meant, some of it was complete gibberish, until he realized that it was an operating system program so he could control the pak. He waited until it was finished before poking around when he found the robotic leg controls he activated it, four robotic spider like legs emerged from the pak when he tried to stand with them he was as wobbly as a newborn foal. Tiring to walk with them was worse, he immediately lost his balance and was soon stumbling out of control, and he crashed noisily into a stack of supplies "What is the meaning of the racket!" Zim stormed in to find Dib hopelessly tangled in the supplies. "It is good that you are trying out your pack so quickly but could you do it in a less noisy fashion. Gir! Free him and clean up this mess! Oh and Dib I suggest just trying to control one or two legs before moving up to all four"


	2. waffles

Invader Dib, Chapter two. 

(I don't own IZ. I know I have a bad track record for finishing fanfics and I haven't written one in years I'm going to do my dam best to finish this one, if you are wondering why chapter one ended in a odd spot, my computer was acting funny and I figured the best way to save the fic in case of computer crash was to post it pronto. Still no mary sues or ZADR although things do thaw a bit between them, Now back to the show)

Dib cussed as Gir freed him from the mess, he has feeling utterly hopeless and useless. He still hadn't figured out just why Zim wanted him to be Irken, he had to think this through carefully.

Did he want Dib's help to take over the world? Not likely Zim was a classic egomaniac he would want the gory all to himself.

Did he do it to get Dib out of the way? No. right now whenever Dib was Irken Zim had him in his lair which would make it difficult for Zim to plot big schemes without Dib knowing about them and possibly ruining them.

Finally free from the mess he started to help Gir clean up the mess he made, he wasn't about to leave the whole thing to Gir to deal with, the way Zim would.

"Your nice" Gir said happily "I'll bring you waffles they have bubble gum in them"

Dib felt as though the world had dropped out from underneath him. That was it! When Dib was Irken he was utterly reliant on Zim for sustenance and protection, and he knew he wouldn't get by on waffles for the rest of his life. He had no clue what sort of nutrients an Irken body needed, could he receive supplies from the tallest? Not likely he was already indebted to them for the lab and he wasn't about to go begging for more. Who knew what else they would want him to do, spying was bad enough as it is. What was he going to do?

"Dib DIB DIIIIIIB ohh Dib Dib DIB Dib Dib Dib DIB Hey! DIIIIIIB Dib Dib DIB Dib hey hey Dib DIB DIIIIIIB Dib Dib DIB Dib Dib DIB OHHH DIIIIIIB Dib Dib Hey DIB Dib **DIB**!"

"Huh?" Dib shook him self out of his musings, he had no idea how long Zim had been standing there calling his name. "What do you want from me Zim? Do you want me to be your slave! Or perhaps you just wanted someone you could kick around besides Gir, is that it? Why else would you want me to be Irken and completely reliant on you, it's not as though I could get my dinner from the store anymore!" Dib glared at Zim, a hurt look briefly crossed his face then anger took its place

"I just figured that if you were Irken too you wouldn't be able to expose me without exposing yourself, I hadn't realized what a chore it would be taking care of you I forgot that you would need Irken sustenance. Which by the way all Irken baces comes stocked with, yours will be no exception. And I had no idea that you would suffer Blarcongnix when I saw you standing there not moving with a blank look on your face, I thought I had lost you to it. However it's good to see you back to normal and so full of goo."

"Wait what's Blarcongnix?"

"It's something like what you call depression, only its not sadness, umm how do I explain, Sometimes if a Irken receives a great shock being environmental or emotional their personality goes quiet and sometimes it disappears altogether, You had both the emotional shock of becoming Irken and the environmental of surviving earths atmosphere without a pak. I had expected you on the day I left you alone to be examining every part of the base and taking things apart, I never left for skool I watched you from upstairs, you weren't yourself Dib. The only time you showed your true personality is when you were human again. I'd hoped that when you changed again it wouldn't be as much of a shock but I think we cut it too close giving you a pak so late. Every time you were Irken it was like having a robot without a personality program. I had hoped that you would recover when you volunteered to help with the magadoomer and tried the spider legs on your own but there was no spark even when I yelled at you for the mess". "But I did react didn't you hear me swearing" "Swearing? What's swearing? Never mind, there was none of the I'll get you for this Zim speeches or I wont let you get away with this, your personality wasn't loud like it should be, truthfully you were the only human I could understand here, everyone is so quiet it's creepy. Funny that when you were Irken you more human like than before, you could have passed for normal"

"Hey!"

"But anyways you are not out of the woods yet Dib you are going to change back to human tomorrow and we don't know how the pak is going react to the change and we don't know if you will have Blarcongnix again when you next change Irken I would hate to have to shake you out of it every time you change." "Uh so what shall I do till tomorrow then" "Why should I have to tell you what to do your personality is loud again, go be the noisy Dib and try to divine all my secrets and mess up my experiments! Do Dib things" "You asked me to accept you as my unconditional leader" "You never said yes, No go! If you want to practice the spider legs again do it away from anything breakable!"

Dib realized the friendly moment was over "Oh and by the way don't think that I'll make it easy for you to muck things up I'll lock you upstairs if I have to, and I've hidden the Dib mask and my disguises so don't think about leaving the house." Zim stocked off leaving Dib alone

Dib was glad things were back to semi normal, and he admitted it we was in a big funk and being nothing like himself, so what if he was a alien now and again that shouldn't stop him from researching other paranormal things and stopping Zim's plans for world conquest, his stomach thing rumbled oh yeah Gir had waffles and maybe he could ask him where Zim got his usual sustenance from, then he would do a more thorough examination of a few things he remembered seeing in the lab area. He still had his trench coat on which had his tiny digital camera hidden in a inside pocket passing the shiny surface that had so bothered him the first night he saw the pak it stood out horribly against the black of the trench coat like a giant lady bug was hitching a ride, I'll paint it black at the first opportunity as he was thinking that the pak did turn black "What? Just happened?" "Your pack is a newer model like Tak's with advanced disguising techniques" the computer told him "So I could go home" "Not in that storm and you wouldn't be able to fly ether the voot or Tak's ship they weren't designed for thunderstorms. By the way I'll be powering down all experiments and myself, the lighting strikes are getting to close for my comfort." Computer's screen went dark and throughout the base Dib could hear machinery going quiet then Zim's yelling as whatever he was working on was shut down with nothing to do downstairs he remembered about the waffles.

Arriving upstairs the same time as Zim they were both greeted by a enthusiastic Gir "I made more, these ones have chili peppers" and they were both shoved to the table where a huge assortment of bizarrely flavored waffles. Both Dib and Gaz cooked for themselves and it didn't always turn out good he remembered Gaz' one attempt to make gummy worm pancakes figuring it would save time not having to pour syrup on the pancakes because they would already be sweet. Grabbing a plateful and digging in he could swear he tasted laundry detergent and onions in one of the waffles, weirdly enough it tasted ok to Irken taste buds even the chili pepper ones were good. While they were eating the storm moved in a big flash and almost simultaneous boom occurred Dib could feel the electricity surge in his antenna, Zim was already cowering under the table and Dib was tempted to join him that was too close. "Why do you humans have electricity running loose like that? It's not safe!" "It's always been that way" another flash this time the crack of thunder was ten seconds after, even with it further away, it hurt feeling it in the antenna "Uh, Zim I don't feel so good" Dib sank to the floor. Zim stopped cowering to examine Dib whose vision was now wavering "the storm must be triggering your change; this is the worst time it could happen with the computer down" Dib felt his insides changing and the pak's tendrils moving about trying to compensate the new organs, he couched up blood and blacked out.

(Author note I tried making gummy worm pancakes my first solo camping trip, it didn't turn out like I planned and it was a mess to clean up. Less effort pouring syrup trust me.)


	3. the end or just the beggining?

Invader Dib Chapter 3 

(I don't own IZ, I'm keeping my promise from the last two chapters, no mary sues and no ZADR just a grudging friendship.)

Dib awoke and then whished he hadn't everything ached. he slowly sat up resisting the urge to throw up, then he looked down at his hands he was human again but for how long and what had changed this time. He ran his hands through his hair and found small antenna, he could put up with that at least his skin hadn't turned green yet. Zim came up out of the garbage can looking grim. "Dib I'll get to the point the pak did some damage, but not to worry, it is as we speak repairing your organs, and I've already reprogrammed for your pack for the transformations it won't be comfortable but there will be no more damage to your pitiful human organs. The bad news Dib is that you are slowly dieing with each transformation you are becoming more Irken eventually your human organs won't be able to co-exist with the Irken ones and you will perish. I've tried everything on the computer there is no way to speed up the process and make you fully Irken and no way to reverse it and make you fully human again. However when you are gone you will be remembered in Irken history as instrumental in the concurring of earth as you eliminated my only rival"

Just then a crash occurred and Dib's severed head rolled across the floor. then Gaz slammed open Zim's door open dragging in the rest of the Dib bot.

"This stupid thing blew up last night during the storm. I lost my game because of it. It was nice having it around this week as it's no where near a noisy as the real Dib. Oh and Dib here's the formula you lab was working on it finished yesterday" "I could have used it yesterday Gaz" "I was in the zone, plus you seemed to be having fun playing alien with Zim"

"Your sister knew?" "Yah I tell her everything whether or not she's listening is impossible to tell though"

Dib eagerly unscrewed the cap from the vial and downed the contents. Shortly he felt the antenna recede back into his head and then he got a glass of water and poured it on his hand nothing, it worked! Zim of course was baffled "How?? there should be no cure! Tell me!" "You were right Zim it's impossible to get rid of the curse, modifying it however was easy. The Irken DNA won't suppress the Human DNA anymore. And I can control when I change, however I will have to spend part of my time Irken or I'll get sick and visa versa. It's been good learning all of your secrets Zim you can be sure I'll be using them to foil your plans for world conquest" Dib turned to walk out the door with his sister

"Not so fast Dib" the little Irken pressed a button on his control watch Dibs pak sprouted the spider legs which wrapped around both Dib and Gaz. "You didn't think I would let you go that easily Human? I modified your pak, I can now track your every move you will never be able to sneak up on me again." "You forgot something Zim" Dib reached behind him and disengaged the pak the spider legs retreated into the pak as it fell to the floor "Humans don't need paks to survive" he picked it up off the floor "and I now have plenty of time to fix your modifications"

"Master! Master! The Tallest are calling" "I'll be going then Zim as you explain yet another failure to your leaders" "They want Dib too!" Dib slapped his forehead he had forgotten his promise to report to them in exchange for the lab.

The screen flickered on "Thank Irk we've finally contacted you two! An armada is approaching your location" "Yay! My tallest you are finally coming. I'll make sandwiches!" "No you doofus! another armada and we don't know whose. If they take over Earth they will be in perfect position to attack the Irken Empire. You will have to secure Earth for Irk with no more Delays! Dib you will help." "Why should I help?" Now Dib you will need to use Earth weapons to fend off this enemy armada until we can bring our Armada to help plus if you help Zim we will keep our promise and we will make the humans full members of the Irken Empire" "NO Slavery?" "No Slavery" "Deal" "And Dib we are putting you in charge" "But my Tallest Why not Zim?" Zim pleaded "Zim how many times have we told you you're a moron?" "Plenty of times, but Zim new that you were only joking." Red sighed "Zim, Dib knows more about Earth and it's weakness and it's strengths he will be leader for this invasion" "but two invaders is unheard of" "So was two tallest, so of course we well make exceptions. No hurry you only have a month before the enemy armada gets there, make us proud Zim"

"Zim I have a plan, first we must hack into the pentagon and all the military and navel bases computers well need control over the weapons first thing, after we are done with the states we will hack other countries weapons systems next after we control the worlds weapons then we will move onto controlling the rest of the government computers if it comes down to a ground war well need to control the police forces"

"Where is the smashing the terror the bowing down to ZIM! Oh and the bowing to Dib?"

"We don't have time for your tactics you've been here how long? And all you have managed to do is wreck one city a couple of times. You will get plenty of time for destroying when the Enemy armada gets here"

Gaz who had be quiet throughout this whole thing piped in "Shouldn't you two get to skool there is a big test today" "Skool we don't have time for Skool" Zim and Dib yelled at the same time "Trust me, you might learn something interesting today, that will help against the armada" both knowing Gaz usually didn't interact with the world outside video games unless it was important decided to humor her.

Skool dragged on Ms Bitters was droning about global warming and how it will wreck the planet wrecked, wrecked, wrecked. Finally the bell rang "Before you go class I wont be teaching you from now on as I will be getting things prepared for a large army of relitives who will be arriving in one months time, and they will be very hungry and will be expecting a feast, I'll have to round up some victims to be, ahem help make the feast."

Running home together dib couldn't keep it in any longer "Zim Ms Bitters is an alien and that's her alien buddies that are descending on Earth and by the sounds of it they want to dine on human flesh! I always knew she was creepy but I had always thought here to be a demon of some sort" "you thought she was a demon? then why haven't you been hounding her like you have me?" "You don't mess with demons and the first time I did she gave me so much home work it wasn't funny."

"So now what do we do?" "We prepare Zim we prepare"

END

(Yay my biggest fic yet and it is finished! Don't worry I'll get to work on the sequel "The Bitters invasion pronto.)


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